Keep Out of Children

Warning this post may have an offensive word in it.

Years ago when my husband and I were shopping at a local Dollar store, we found this saying on the side of a box of knives made in China: Keep out of children.

Another time we entered a city municipal building and read a poorly abbreviated sign outside of the Tax Collectors office. It said, "Collector of Taxes and Asses". We both just about fell on the floor laughing.

Today, while checking my FreeCycle and Cheap Cycle discussion boards, I almost spit my juice all over the screen when I read this line: Women's clothing, Reduced 50%. First, size large and now small and medium. What? Did that mean they reduced the sizes of the women's clothing or the prices?


Hear are some more funnies:

1. "Please come and bring a guest to our "carry-in" game dinner. (I heard this on the radio and thought it said "carrion".)
2. "Join us this evening for a special treat at we hear missionary Bertha Belch all the way from Africa."
3. "Ears pierced while you wait. Half off on Wednesdays." (A sign outside a Jewelry boutique.)
4. Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper. (church bulletin.)
5. "I'm so glad you are good fried." (I wrote this on a note but meant to write "I'm so glad you are my good friend.)

I hope these examples serve as reminders to all writers to be careful in choosing and spelling your words...or NOT! Those of us with demented minds and sick senses of humor need more faux paus to tickle for our funny bones.