Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Dr. Wordwielder's Wise Warnings

Good evening, Ladies and Gentleman, I am pleased to make my weekly appearance here at Rather Be Writing. I'm ever so indebted to you my astute audience, for being such faithful participants in my written English Grammar examinations. I have been ruminating about a method of thanking you for your involvement through the means of some material compensation for the time and effort you have put forth. As a result, I will soon announce the rules for a contest to win a resource to assist you even further than our weekly lessons. Be sure to appear here at Rather Be Writing in the next few weeks for more details.
Presently, I would like to reveal a tidbit of information that one might find useful in preparation for studying grammar. I have read the abstract of recent studies in the scientific community regarding the correlation of nutrition to the acuity of the brain. It appears that neuroscientists have discovered that cerebral health and functionality are enhanced by the ingestion of certain supplemental capsules and dietary choices which include: Omega Fatty acids which are found in fish, eggs and some nuts and seeds as well as phytonutrients and amino acids found in micro algae, fresh fruits and vegetables. Augmentation of these into one's diet, may increase the ability of the brain to connect the synapses used by neurotransmitters such as norepinephrine and dopamine which promote well-being and the ability to develop and increase cognition. Another nourishment which enhances cerebral functioning is drinking optimum quantities of water. Though one might not benefit from drinking too high amounts of water, insufficient levels of water intake can be detrimental. The average person's body requires 6-8 glasses of water per day in order to prevent dehydration.
One symptom of dehydration is mental confusion. When a person is not drinking enough water, he or she will have difficulty thinking clearly and will be unable to learn effectively which makes the creative process of writing difficult to say the least.
I have noted that my students in these past few years are drinking more and more soft drinks then in years past and also less water. I've heard rumor that carbonation in soft drinks does not allow proper hydration and may actually dehydrate the brain. I have also seen, at least at my university how the class schedules are becoming so tight that it might make one unable to drink enough water during the day due to a dirth of transition time between classes for drinking and eliminating (I do apologize for the graphic content, but one must realize that with input there is certainly going to be output and a healthy person needs to have output approximately 5-6 times per day. Anything less indicates not enough liquid intake.)
Please excuse my digression. I fear I must sound like a walking health encyclopedia. But I must encourage you lovers of pen and ink to ensure for yourselves adequate nutrition and hydration. I do so enjoy a good cup of English tea daily but do try to keep my limit of one or two so that the caffeine will not act as a diuretic. I want to be sure that my thought processes are sharp as well so I do chose green tea often although it is not Earl Grey. It took some adjustment on my part as it will for you as well, but I'm sure that you will desire to nourish your cerebral health and be the best writer and grammatician you are capable of becoming. I pray that you will humor me for this bit of grandfatherly advice. I do get carried away on tangents from time to time but it is because of my deep concern for your well-being and the decrease in scholarly writers that I've seen in the last decade.
Consequently, I shall proceed without much further adieu to present this week's examination.
Your assignment shall be to read the instructions and answer the question that correlates to it below. Put your answers either here or on your own weblog and create a link back to this examination so that others may see your skillful and well-thought answers.

1.Hectic or Helpful Homonyms. Select the correct homonym. They are hectic when used improperly and helpful when fitly used.
THIS WEEK'S QUESTION: The young cook learned to pick the (a. flower OR b. flour) that was whole-grain because it was healthier for her body and brain.

2. Ideal or Idiotic Idioms. One feels like an idiot unless he or she uses these idioms correctly.
THIS WEEK'S QUESTION. The university student (a. beat his brains out OR b. became an egghead) trying to write a literary analysis without eating or drinking all day but he was unsuccessful due to mild dehydration and low blood sugar.
3. Wise or Wacky Words. Sometimes I shall share a wise word for your use. At other times, it shall be a strange or wacky word that you, the readers shall help to define.
THIS WEEK'S QUESTION. Malapropism. Is it: (a. the inability to prop one's book up at an appropriate angle OR b. the act or habit of misusing a word.)
4. Comical or Cute Coinage. Step one. Terms that I find cute or comical. Step two, you share a word that you find fitting in either category as well. We shall sharpen each other’s intellect.
THIS WEEK'S WORD. Gadabout: A person who runs about aimlessly seeking entertainment. A social butterfly. Now send us one of your favorite words or coined phrases. Let us see if anyone in addition to Ms. JoJo can come up with something cute or comical. (But feel free, Ms. JoJo to play as well.)
5. Spelling Slips. This shall include words that are commonly misspelled. You will need to select the correct spelling.
THIS WEEK'S QUESTION. (a. Nuerotransmitters OR b. Neurotransmitters) are the body's Morse code or communication system.

6. Pun Fun. Here I shall share a pun and I would like you to share one also.
THIS WEEK'S PUN-LINER. If you join a group of your colleagues at McDonald's Restaurant for dinner and do not eat but pray instead, is the fare there still fast food?
Send in your puns, coined phrases and answers to the exam. I shall look forward to reading your witty answers very soon. But for now, I shall sip a cup of decaffeinated Green Tea, cream and sugar of course. Perhaps I shall be successful in duping my gustatory senses into believing it to be the familiar Earl Grey tea I oft drink.
Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, I leave you with one request. Guard your cerebral health and exercise your brain cells! Tut tut! Good bye for now.


Rich and JoJo Tabares said...

1. B
2. A
3. B
4. Long ago in a life far far away, I owned another business that I called Kidcessities: Necessities for Kids.
5. B
6. I'm very punny and so we have a lot of pun at our house. And as Dr. Seuss used to say, It's pun to have pun but you have to know how!

Rebecca A Emrich said...

Becky if you could, please head over to my writing blog, a bit of a surprise for you there.


BeckyJoie said...

Ms. JoJo. Once again you are the one with all the answers. I do believe I shall have to find a special reward for you since you most always receive an A on my examinations and that is a rare thing indeed.

----Dr. Wordweilder