Monday, August 17, 2009

Auditions Post/ Answers to Dr. Wordwielder's Quiz

Dr. Wordwielder here. I do declare that modern technology is oft times a curse. On occasion, I try my hand at typing on these newfangled machines with the Internet attached and discover myself entangled in it's web of treachery. This week I did this to your poor hostess' computer. Ms. BeckyJoie had mentioned to me how she often listens to classical music while penning her thoughts and I heard about a website that would play the music whilst I typed. But to my misfortune, it appeared to inject some sort of "virus" as I'm told into Ms. BeckyJoie's computer causing the letters in the words to reverse such as if it were written by a person diagnosed with dyslexia. It took her a few days to realize what I had done and she was very gracious about the whole ordeal. I do declare that her husband must have been scratching his head a bit over the matter. Our host and hostess sure were baffled. They hustled over to the local office supply establishment and purchased a can of air???? Then they proceeded to spray it all over the keyboard as if trying to blow away the virus. At least, that is how it appeared to me. But alas, the solution was yet to be found. Mr. Oakes ran a deep scan and found the culprit. Now, I shall finally be able to answer the exam questions for you. Here they are:


1. Hectic or Helpful Homonyms. THE CORRECT ANSWER WAS THE LETTER B. AND IT HAS NOTHING IN COMMON WITH INFESTATIONS THAT HOUSEHOLD PETS ACQUIRE, UNLESS YOU CONSIDER THAT THE MATERIALS BROUGHT TO SUCH A MARKET SEEM TO MULTIPLY LIKE FLEAS SCATTERED ACROSS THE GROUNDS. The magnificent model of feminine pulchritude made her way across the green to browse the tables at the ( a. flee, or b. flea) market.

2. Ideal or Idiotic Idioms. THE CORRECT ANSWER IS B. AGAIN. TO OVER-EGG THE PUDDING IS TO SPOIL SOMETHING BY USING TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING WHEREAS TO OVERPLAY ONE'S HAND DENOTES OVERESTIMATION OF ONE'S POSITION OR STRENGTH. When writing descriptive lines in poetry or prose, one must not ( a. overplay one's hand or b. over-egg the pudding). YES, IT WAS RATHER TRICKY, MY FRIENDS.

3. Wise or Wacky Words. THIS TIME THE ANSWER WAS THE LETTER A. The word is affable. Does it mean: a. easy to speak to and gracious OR b. the after effects of laughing.

4. Cute or Comical Coinage. Kiss gate. This term is used quite frequently in England where I lived as a young fellow in my preparatory school days. The Kiss Gate was designed to prevent animals from escaping or entering a location and it consisted of a half door that only one person at a time could pass through, usually, the gentleman would enter first and offer to help the ladies afterward. Often my chums would make their boast about preventing the young ladies from moseying through unless they had first offered a kiss. Of course, I never attempted this with the ladies as I ne'er wished to receive the brunt of their brolly upon my head but some chaps may have succeeded. IT COULD HAVE BEEN EITHER CUTE OR COMICAL. NOW IT IS YOUR TURN TO COIN A PHRASE. LEAVE A COMMENT OR POST A COINED WORD ON YOUR OWN WEBLOG. IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO COIN A WORD OR PHRASE, FEEL FREE TO SHARE THOSE YOU HAVE LEARNED FROM OTHERS.

5. Spelling Slips. Which spelling is correct for the following word: a. nucular OR b. nuclear ? THE ANSWER IS THE LETTER B.

6. Pun Fun. I had found my true soulmate. She and I were both wearing British shoes. WHAT PUNS HAVE YOU BECOME FOND OF HEARING? HAVE YOU USED ANY YOURSELF?
AS YOU MAY BE WONDERING, DUE TO THE TECHNICAL DIFFICULTY WITH WHICH THE HOSTESS' COMPUTER BECAME PLAGUED, I HAVE HAD TO MAKE AN EXTRA TRIP BETWEEN THE UNIVERSITY AND HER HOME. BUT I PROMISE TO RETURN LATER THIS WEEK TO POST ANOTHER EXAM. MEANWHILE, PLEASE TAKE CARE TO SHARPEN YOUR WORDWIELDING SKILLS BY READING YOUR FAVORITE DICTIONARY OR TAKING TIME TO COMPLETE THE WORD SEARCHES IN YOUR LOCAL NEWSPAPERS. UNTIL LATER, GOOD BYE FOR NOW.

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