Showing posts with label Writing Tips. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Writing Tips. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Writer's Wishlist

When I was a child, my parents asked all the children in our family to make Christmas lists.
We passed around our papers so that everyone knew what to get or make for each other. We tried not to ask for outlandish things since we knew that with involvement in the family ministry, finances were not plentious (Back then, ministry meant sacrifice not the glamour of Armani and diamonds, like some in modern ministry seem to think).
Although the wishlist idea sounds self-centered, our family already had a practice of giving to the community in abundance even when we had little ourselves.
Making a wishlist was a valuable lesson in assessing wants vs. needs and in honoring the needs and wishes of others.
The practice has stuck with me. Every year, I follow the family tradition and ask the people in my present day family to make their own wishlists. It sure makes shopping a little easier for me, too!
It wasn't difficult for me to get into wish-listing. I'm a list-maker by nature anyway. I love analyzing and keeping track of things.
New Years is another time to employ this principle. I make an annual list of resolutions to change old behaviors and to start new ones.
Periodic introspection and needs-analysis are beneficial because they keep us honest with ourselves.
As I approach the end of the year, I find myself going to that listmaking mode and crossing of the goals I've completed for the year as well as setting new goals as a writer. This includes a wishlist of tools that I think I need to continue as a writer. I never know how I'm going to accomplish or acquire them but I ask God in faith and trust that He will provide exactly what I need. Sometimes He gives me the desires of my heart in an ownership capacity and other times He provides the opportunity to borrow or share. It's a great lesson in faith and spiritual warfare, too. (By the way, God tells us we have not because we ask not or we ask amiss.
Prayer is a fantastic way to check the priorities of your wish list items and to see God work miracles on behalf of your obvious and seemingly hopeless lack.)
No warrior goes to war without preparing his armor and weapons of warfare. Neither does a writer jump out there without preparation and education. He or she also needs proper instruments with which to write and be published. He needs a battle plan and a map telling him where to submit and with what directions.
What tools do you need as a writer to make it on the Christian and /or secular markets? Here are some things I recommend putting on your wishlist (most are on mine; several I already have access to):
Sally Stuart's Christian Writers Market Guide http://www.stuartmarket.com/
Writer's Market Guide for: poets, novelists, short story writers, songwriters, children's writers and illustrators, photographers, screen and playwrights, agents and everything you could ever want to learn as a writer or artist. http://www.writersdigestshop.com/category/market-books
The Writer Magazine http://www.writermag.com/wrt/
Magazines, newspapers and books in genres which you want to become published.
What is on your writer's wishlist? Did I miss anything?

Monday, October 19, 2009

What Are the Words?

What are the words?
They won't seem to come.
All I can think of is ho-hum-drum.
I wish I could pen them but they run away.
What are the words that I could say today?

Okay, it's rather silly but you get the point. All of us get writer's block from time to time or we wish that we did so we didn't write something that ridiculous. Hey! Don't knock it. Dr. Seuss made a living from writing the likes of such nonsense!

My point? Christians and non-christian writers alike suffer from this ailment. How do you overcome this as a writer? Usually if I am unable to write, it is because I'm either too tired or too busy and can't slow down enough to formulate the words.

If that is the case, I take a break and do something fun (though I have to admit to being a little deficient in the fun-activity-finding category). After a brief enjoyable retreat I come back--relaxed enough to write.

If it is because I am too tired, then heaven help us! I am going to write something goofy. Some of my best writing has come when I had writer's block and just wrote whatever crazy thing came to mind. Other times, the product made a flight across the desk into the circular file.

Sometimes, spending a little extra time in prayer helps me bring to mind a spiritual truth or a new direction for my writing. I always ask the Lord to help me to write for Him. I figure that if I've done that and still have nothing to say, then I might be better off saying nothing at all.

Let's here some of your ideas. How do you cure writer's block?

Monday, September 21, 2009

Old Grooves and New Moves

THE GROOVE:
Returning to Palm Writer's Group was the highlight of my evening. During the previous two months, pre-occupation with family matters rendered me unable to attend. As usual, there was a fair balance of humor and banter at the round table (rectangular but still hosts a meeting of the minds.) There were a few awkward moments where topics included in writers' manuscripts became the butt of wisecracks making some of us blush.
As I sat there tonight, I began to realize how much I missed this group of people for the year or so when I had moved away and not attended the meetings. The group has changed so much over the years but it is still colorful and diverse.
The former president of the group was back and shared a story which told of a recent spiritual experience. I enjoyed reading his work and seeing him again. Faithful, long-time members along with newer members-- a few faces I didn't recognize--all contributed to a wonderful experience. Fellow word-lovers of varied perspectives agreed together to help one another improve the writing ability of each individual. There were mystics, Catholics, Christians, agnostics, atheists and people from various lifestyles spread around the table each smiling, laughing and critiquing the others' works without animosity. It's just the sort of place for a Christian Writer to be.
To top it off, I made a new friend, thanks to a mutual friend, Barb. Our testimonies and choices of a life verse were similar. (A life verse is one chosen to be used somewhat like a mission statement given to a person by God.) We shared a wonderful conversation after the meeting. I was familiar with books by authors with whom she is associated and have used them to help church members who have been hurt by various offensive things in the church (not my church, per say, but the universal church in general). I am interested to see where the Lord takes this "God-incidental" meeting as I really connected with this guest on many levels. I look forward to interacting with her and seeing the input she brings to our group. I'm sure that she has much to offer us in the line of constructive criticism.
It was good to see my writing colleagues and to be back in the grove again. Now I just need to get signed up for the web activities connected with the group. It is time to be diligent about this once more. Palm Group helped me tremendously over the years with improving my writing skills. I also became good at editing and critiquing as well as receiving critiques. This is the group that John, the former president used to call "The Carnivores". I was on the receiving end of a few of those man-eating critiques. It sure did sharpen my skills (after I picked my fragile ego up off the floor!) I'm thankful that I've been a part of this fantastic group of writing critics and writers. There are so many new members that I am excited about getting to know. (I'm reading their awesome stories, too.) This it the group I like best for their editing and analyzing abilities.
THE MOVE:
Clermont Christian Writers Group will be starting up again Monday at 1pm BUT they will not be in the old library downtown. The library has a new groove--a brand, spanking new building near the college in Clermont. (Did you know there was a college in Clermont? I had no clue.) Well, I am anxious to meet up with these writers again after the group went on a summer hiatus. I've missed the crew there which included members from Africa, Clermont, Leesburg, Tavares and surrounding areas.
One writer is a missionary in Muslim territory. She shared ways that Christians can invite Muslims into their homes to show them Christian love. Her writing is fantastic! She writes vignettes about her experiences in Africa. They are cute little children's stories with a gently-woven-in moral. I love them.
Another lady grew up in a Circus family but she is so mellow, sweet and kind. Her stories are very spiritual and show the relational side of walking with God. She writes devotional material as well as skits and has a large novel in the works. I found an immediate connection with her as I also grew up in a family that traveled and performed, though for different reasons.
Too there is a former sports writer who writes prophetic books and stories that evoke deep emotional responses toward the faith and toward helping others. He always has a unique perspective on things.
The leader of our group is a many-time published Chicken Soup for the Soul writer. She does a marvelous job of keeping us updated on market opportunities, providing accountability for members in our writing goals. Her most helpful talent is the ability to encourage everyone to be the best writers that they can be.
There are several other writers that I enjoy reading in this group as well. They write to comfort those with long-term illness or personal baggage and/or for entertainment as well as their own person enjoyment. A couple battle disabilities and illnesses but continue toward their writing goals, blessing us all with their words.
I'm excited to return to our next meeting Monday. I just hope my directional disabilities don't kick in too high gear on the trip. I will have to take advantage of both Map Quest and MS Streets and Trips. I might even beg my friend, Lyssie, to let me borrow her GPS in addition. Can you tell I'm Geographically Deficient?
So, now that I've rambled on and on about my writing groups, what does this have to do with you, the readers?
Well, I've ranted periodically on Rather Be Writing about the need for writers to attend a writers' group of some sort. The reason why is because I believe that it is difficult to be a good writer and stay on top of the game without cheerleaders to spur you on further on the journey. I feel that the challenge of submitting to a group of critics prepares you for the possible rejection you might receive from a publishing editor. In addition, reading the work of other authors teaches you things about writing that you can't learn if you only write and read one genre. There is a great deal to be learned from the analysis and discussion of all types of writing.
Much of the writing I read and critique in Palm Group is material I would never otherwise read as it is secular (nothing wrong with it, just not my personal choice for everyday reading.) Some of it comes from an absolute opposite viewpoint spiritually or politically. Reading it, gives me an understanding of people unlike myself and an opportunity to develop a relationship with the same. It can help, as well, when I am writing about a character, to know how real life people from real life situations might word things or act. It's a free education, if you will. We all learn from each other. It's an experience I wouldn't trade for the world and that I would highly recommend to all writers. (No hyperbole here. LOL).
When it comes to Christian Writer's Groups, it is obvious that the group often contains more of a spiritual focus which can sometimes even reach outside of the writing topics. If all writers feel that they march to a different beat from the rest of the world, then Christian writers feel it in even more profound ways. This market is not as widespread with opportunities and often has limitations that other markets do not. those who read this genre may not be as willing or able to purchase what is offered. Being in a Christian group can also help understand the picky sticky areas of the genre. It is so helpful to receive tips and info on other Christian Writers' marketing experiences as well as to feel the genuine care over the spiritual leadings on: how to write, what to write an where to submit. We've held meetings that included prayer when someone felt discouraged or needed direction. As a Christian writer, that is a unique experience. I want to be led by the Lord in anything I write, whether it is for the secular or Christian markets. Christian Writer's Groups understand the need to be spirit-led and yet still prod you toward publication goals you may choose for yourself.
But what if you don't have a writers group in your area? There are many wonderful online communities for both secular and Christian writers. I've posted about some of them under the labels marked "cheerleaders". If you know of any, please post your comments so that other readers may benefit. To quote a popular musical, "We're all in this together."
If you aren't able to join an online community of writers nor a local critique or writing group, then I suggest praying for God to send you online writing friends with whom you can connect. I've met some of the best writers and editors online! I believe they were heaven-sent to my life for the purpose of mutual encouragement on many levels as well as professional improvement. If you don't have connections with other writers, you know the One who can make it all happen for you. Ask and you will receive. God is good about answering specific prayer!
When it comes to business connections, trust Him also. Trust and obey and let Him make the way! Remember you are writing for a purpose. He is the provider and we are the distributors. Look to the Ultimate Navigator for direction! He will not lead you astray but will move in and through you to new and old grooves.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Dr. Wordweilder's Communcation Carol

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Dr. William Wordweilder here.

This has been a wonderfully productive week for me. The majority of students in my classes at the university are adjusting well to their routines and schedules. In doing so, they make our time together work like finely-oiled machinary. Their wise use of study time frees me from having to round up late papers and reports from the students. I am abundantly proud of them. They are putting forth a great effort to learn the materials and become excellent users of English grammar and speech.

I would also like to give a word of appreciation to Ms. JoJo Tabares, a regular web log commenter here at Rather Be Writing. Not only does she ace the examinations the majority of the time but also she is owed gratitude for offering her talk show contest participants a copy of her book, FIMMology 101, the FIMMportant and Funbelievable Study of the Humorous Sins of the Mouth. Ms. BeckyJoie participated in the game show that Ms. JoJo held at Communication Comedy Network and just for participating, won a free copy of the ebook.

I must admit to difficulty adjusting to the idea of a book that is read in an electronic format. I made it apparent to Ms. BeckyJoie who then printed it for me to have in hand. She did ask that I return it after a brief look and purchase my own copy so as not to infringe on copyright laws. (You can do the same by clicking on the side link of this blog that is titled Communication FUNdamentals.) Ms.BeckyJoie has spoken to me of its superiority for applying humor to teach appropriate communication skills. It was her thought that I might be interested in using it at the university. And that, I just might. Nevertheless, I would like to provide you with a brief review of FIMMOLOGY 101.

First of all, Mr. FIMM has a very handsome name—Franklin Ignatius McMiller Possible but he soon earned the nickname of FIMM, the Foot in Mouth Man. I shan’t spoil the story by divulging too many details but suffice it to say that FIMM has a reputation like none other.

After a brief introduction, the ebook takes the reader along on a ride similar to that which Charles Dickens’ character, Ebenezer Scrooge, took with the spirits of Christmas past, present and future. The author, Ms. Communicator (JoJo) herself took me on a tour of FIMM’s many faux pas from birth to his mature years.

First, FIMM loses his source of employment at Balfurd Cleaners because of appearing to have a dirty mouth. (Never you fret, my friends, things are not always as they appear. After a bit, we discover that all that does not glitter on his sign is not fifth, but some poorly placed words. )

After this, FIMM cleans up for a job interview and makes his resume elaborate. In fact, he elaborates so much that I sincerely doubt that the manager receiving his resume has any questions whatsoever to ask him.

FIMM does eventually obtain employment but not without contorting like a yogi first (Foot In Mouth). I must say that I agree with Ms. BeckyJoie’s husband, Douglas, who believes that FIMM must have chocolate feet. He is always inserting them into his mouth.

Next, FIMM finds himself in a mite of legal trouble but manages to fudge his way out of it—barely—and just in time to change residences. First, though, he has to sell his dog without scaring off all the neighborhood children. A dog like his would not be allowed in his new place of abode.

The ebook shares quite a variety of snapshots of FIMM’s life from his single adulthood to dating dilemmas and church volunteer work, right up through his marriage, even giving a glimpse of the family man that FIMM has always wanted to be. This is where I find FIMM most relatable.

I’ve been a bachelor all these many years and must confess that I do so long for holidays with loved ones as FIMM finally finds. His many years of searching were eventually satisfied, which is more than I could say for myself who I think an old codger set in my ways. (I determined an eon ago that I would settle for nothing but the best. Being married to a poor communicator would be the bane of my existence. But the woman of my dreams is a figment of my imagination, I suppose. Why, she would be lovely and well spoken, a bit more flamboyant than I, since I’m what many might consider to be a boring professor.

She must bring a little spark of color and comfort to the home and yet, still accommodate my stacks of research without resenting the small areas of clutter. I am neat nick for the most part. My books are alphabetized, my closet already arranged by color and my shoes lined in neat rows on the floor beneath the hanging clothes. But my library—well, it is clean and orderly other than banquet tables assigned with works in progress, and, of course, some of the books that I consult on a frequent basis never make it back onto the dusty bookshelves. And the Mrs.—well, she would need to turn a deaf ear to my external processing of information during research AND to the oral reading of my own manuscripts. I’ve heard that one ought to read his or her own manuscripts aloud in order to make sure the flow is natural for the reader or for dialogue.)

Well, here I go again on a rabbit trail. It’s just that I feel in my heart that my future wife is out there, somewhere wandering and looking for her soul mate but cannot find me because I am buried deeply in my work. Not many women turn my head. But one, a red head I think, wearing a velvet hat and gloves breezed past me one day when I was at the booksellers establishment looking over a published magazine article of mine. Her voice sent shivers down my spine and I had to raise my head to see whom this eloquent and elegant lady might be. But like an angel, she was gone in an instant, as if appearing with an iridescent corona and then vanishing into thin air. She had a familiar accent, as if I had known her in another time and another place and yet she was estranged from me.

My friends, please accept my sincere apologies. It appears that I have been sidetracked by a daydream once again. My intention is neither to gain sympathy nor to lead you to conclude that I am unhappy as a single adult. No, it is merely that I have found FIMM relatable and sympathize with his years of “single-itude” . I shall have to pay closer attention to how he overcame this malady (though I think singlehood a gift at times).


Alas, you shall have to purchase a copy of his adventures at Ms. JoJo’s website at Art of Eloquence, in order to read about his travels on the road of life. His story has been told and continues. My biography is yet to be written, even at this age. I’m a youth at heart-at least like a youth who lived in the fifties. Anyway, you didn’t come to hear all that; you have come to take the examination.

I decided to assist readers in winning a prize by giving some them options for participating in the quiz. In a few weeks, there will be a prize for the most faithful examinee. There will also be an award for all those who participate. Return again for the next four weeks to join in and have a chance to win the prize. The winner will not only receive a free blog or business advertisement on Ms. BeckyJoie’s blog, but also a small token of appreciation that writers and word-lovers of all kinds will enjoy.

I am certain that you will want to take up the pen and begin now so here are this week’s questions. Don’t forget to leave blog comments.

1.Hectic or Helpful Homonyms. Select the correct homonym. They are hectic when used improperly and helpful when fitly used.
THIS WEEK'S QUESTION: The students who wish to attend my lectures but live too far away may send (a. Correspondents OR b. Correspondence) along with a SASE requesting the lessons be sent to them weekly.

2. Ideal or Idiotic Idioms. One feels like an idiot unless he or she uses these idioms correctly.
THIS WEEK'S QUESTION: The young man who “cried wolf” too many times could not get anyone to believe him when he was in real trouble demonstrates that:
(a. Chickens always come home to roost OR b. he was a cold fish.)

3. Wise or Wacky Words. Sometimes I shall share a wise word for your use. At other times, it shall be a strange or wacky word that you, the readers shall help to define.
THIS WEEK'S WORD. This word is of Yiddish Origin. Glitch or Glitsh. Usage. A well-prepared lesson and presentation should proceed without a glitch.
This word means to “skip” or “nose dive”. Americans have adapted this word into everyday vocabulary.

4. Comical or Cute Coinage. Step one. Terms that I find cute or comical. Step two; you share a word that you find fitting in either category as well. We shall sharpen each other’s intellect.
THIS WEEK'S WORD. Inblogtrinated. The act of being persuaded that social media is an excellent means of communicating ideas and promoting business. USAGE: Though I prefer to write with pen and notepaper or an old fashioned typewriter, I’ve become inblogtrinated into the modern ways of writing and publishing.

5. Spelling Slips. This shall include words that are commonly misspelled. You will need to select the correct spelling.
THIS WEEK'S QUESTION: The children’s church song lyrics for “I’m in the Lord’s Army” say that “I may never ride in a (a. calvary OR b. cavalry.)”

6. Pun Fun. Here I shall share a pun and I would like you to share one also.
THIS WEEK'S PUN-LINER. If you dispose of an old chalkboard sponge are you ex-sponging (expunging)?


Send in your puns, coined phrases and answers to the exam. Ms. JoJo’s friend, FIM uses some great puns. For instance, he frequently catches athlete’s tongue by sticking his foot in his mouth. Let’s see if you can send in some puns this week.

In fact, I’m going to make it easy for you all this week and allow you to choose two of these questions to answer on this week’s examination. I shall extend free credit for the unanswered questions if a new quizzer will answer only two of the questions. I shall look forward to reading your witty answers very soon.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Superior Scribbler Award




Wow! I'm so amazed and blessed. I was nominated for another blog award. Woo Hoo! I would like to thank Rebecca from Living a Life of Writing at http://rebeccasbook.blogspot.com/2009/09/award-time.html for nominating me for this award.

Now it is my turn to nominate people. Here are the rules:

The Super Scribbler

1. Each Superior Scribbler, must in turn, pass the Award on to 5 most-deserving bloggy buds.

2. Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author and name of the blog from whom he/she has received the Award.

3. Each Superior Scribbler must display the Award on his/her blog and link to this post which explains the Award.

4. Each blogger who wins the Award must visit this post and add his or her name to the Mr. Linky List at the Scholastic-Scribe's blog. That way, we'll be able to keep up-to-date on everyone who wins this prestigious Award! http://scholastic-scribe.blogspot.com/2008/10/200-this-blings-for-you.html

5. Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog.

Here are my nominations.

1. JoJo Tabares at http://artofeloquence.com/blog/. Her purple blog won the "Kreativ Blogger" award last week but she is better known for her Christian ministries and business at Art of Eloquence and Communication Comedy Network, a weekly blogcast of comedic proportions based on communication. You can listen to her very funny show on Thursdays weekly at: http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/19736.


2. Terri Tiffany also won a "Kreativ Blogger" Award last week on her personal blog but this week, the credit goes out to her for another blog that is always packed with market leads and great ideas for Christian writers in her Clermont Christian Writers Group (of which I'm blessed to hold membership. ) http://clermontchristianwritersgroup.blogspot.com/

3. Olivia from Inspired By Grace, http://inspiredbygrace.blogspot.com/ She always has amazing photos, heartfelt, inspiring words and poetry. Be sure to check out her professional photography page as well. She is an award winner. Anyone can also see that she is a genuine Christian!

4. Of course, I would re-nominate Rebecca who referred me, even though she has had two nominations already. See the link above. She has the amazing ability to carry on writing about the same topic for days and keep it interesting and educational. Great job, Rebecca, and thanks also for nominating me. :>)

5. Last but not least is Ray Thombs. He is a songwriter/singer turned blogger. He writes short and concise blogs but there is always something good in the posts. Check out his website and blog. (Scroll down to the bottom of the webpage for the blog link or listen to the lyrics he wrote on his main page-he has some mystery woven through here and there that one must ask him about to find the full meaning. It's "evoktional" as he puts it.) http://jenr8tmusic.com/

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Dr. Wordwielder's Words of Wisdom

Dr. Word Wielder here. I trust that in my absence, you’ve all been brushing up on your grammar. Ms. BeckyJoie has been teaching her children about root words and prefixes. They seem to have adapted fairly well and are developing an affinity to stretching their vocabulary by using words that they have never heard of nor understood prior. In fact, I think one of them has decided that he shall take up a hobby of the same ilk that Ms. BeckyJoie has chosen for her career. He has begun writing stories and making up sentences using the words from his lessons. I do believe that he was found using a cardboard box turned tablet to do so because he wanted to pen the words quickly and illustrate them himself. Ms. BeckyJoie was estactic, to put it in the common vernacular. I too, congratulated her on the successful passing of the torch. With a bit of mentoring, the young chap might actually become skillful at the craft. Perhaps, someday, he shall develop a desire to pursue a career in communications and enroll in my university classes. But for now, I think that it is a good idea for him to engage in Writing Workshops and critique circles of his peers. Perhaps, I shall talk his mother into beginning a Workshop in the new umbrella school in which he partakes. I shall not have the time to teach him myself.

I’ve been busy from top to toe with preparations for the new semester at the university. My classes are at an abundance of attendees, which is excellent for the sake of our educational institution in this era of global financial crisis about which we hear ad infinitem. (Regardless of the financial situation, I assume that I shall fare fine with my collection of rare, antique books though I wouldst die a thousand deaths of starvation before parting with them).

Nevertheless, the flurry of life’s whirlwinds shall not prevail this evening as it has in the past week or so. I do believe Ms. Oakes has repaired her technical issues with people who cough too much (hackers). Now I shall deliver my weekly lesson. I would like you also to add a word on an area of English, Grammar or Writing about which you have questions. Then leave your answers in the box marked “comments” and I shall return later to grade them. Thank you so much for your faithful participation. I am delighted to have you in my correspondence class hosted via the Internet.

DIRECTIONS: I shall post one or more of these weekly. Sometimes I shall include them all. You will need to understand the rules and definitions.

1. Hectic or Helpful Homonyms. (Select the correct homonym. .They are hectic when used improperly and helpful when fitly used.)
2. Ideal or Idiotic Idioms. (One feels like an idiot unless he or she uses these idioms correctly.)
3. Wise or Wacky Words. (Sometimes I shall share a wise word for your use. At other times, it shall be a strange or wacky word that you, the readers shall help to define.)
4. Comical or Cute Coinage. (Step one. I share terms that I find cute or comical. Step two, you share a word that you find fitting in either category as well. We shall sharpen each other’s intellect.)
5. Spelling Slips. This shall include words that are commonly misspelled. You will need to select the correct one.
6. Pun Fun. I do relish a bit of dry, English or New Englandish humor. Puns are a way of life for some of Ms. BeckyJoie’s family as well. Here I shall share a pun and I would like you to share one also.

Are you prepared sufficiently to attempt the examination?
Learning Language is the sharpening stick for the scholar's sword.

Here are the questions. Remember to consult the rules above. Choose the correct answer and post to the blog. Each category is numbered and defined above.

1. Floridians are fond of “yard (a. Sailing OR b. saling)”.
2. Under His Wings Womens Center held a vigil for domestic violence survivors; the gentleman brought a candle and attended because he: a. realized that actions speak louder than words OR B. wanted to add fuel to the fire.
3. Abecedarian. Define it. Is it: A. one who uses an abacus to teach Mathematics OR B. a beginner or learner of the alphabet?
4. Blogstruck. Being enamored with a topic about which one of your colleagues has posted via a weblog or social media device.
5. What is this misspelled word suppose to be? “A Fiend is someone who sticks closer than a brother.”
6. “When a medical professional starts poking and ribbing you, it is not a good idea to command ‘Cut it out, sir”—the accidental appendectomy patient.

Well, it is time for me to retire for the night. I hope that you enjoyed yourself while taking my examination and that you were able to guess the correct answers. Re-read the rules, please, ladies and gentlemen, and then post your answers here and also on your own blog, giving a link back to my grammar lesson. Once, again, I think Ms. BeckyJoie for allowing me to have time and space on her webpage. Until next time, my companions….
Dr. Wordwielder, signing off. Writers: take this to heart. Teachers, tell your students: Use wise words when working and writing this week. Wield them well and wisdom will walk with you.

Friday, August 28, 2009

WEB DESIGN FOR KIDS AND CURIOUS GROWN-UPS

This is a copy of a product review that I have posted at my Leaders in Learning Blog. I thought that some of you other writers who are technologically challenged like me might appreciate this review also.


Technologically-Challenged?

I’ve found a web design program that is technically not challenging at all.

As a writer and blogger, I’ve always wanted to learn html. So I purchased a book at a local discount store and even borrowed a few from the library but became disappointed when I felt like I was reading French in a mirror backwards. (The only French I know is my middle name and a Sunday School song.)

So, you can imagine how excited I was to receive a copy of a web design program for kids! I have two kids living at home and was a curious grow-up, so I figured it had to work for me but I was also a nervous, semi-literate html writer. In fact, I knew just enough about html to get myself in trouble.

After I began to watch this DVD, I felt a little better. It is very basic and non-threatening, guiding you step by step, through the stages of designing a web page. The only tools you need to have are the NOTEPAD program, Internet Explorer, your television and a DVD player. Well, maybe there is one more thing you need. You will want your remote control so you can pause the video and practice the lessons. (Alternatively, you can play it on the computer but you’ll have to be a pro at toggling screens).



You will want to keep your eyes on the TV screen or computer monitor as scenes transition between Brian Richardson’s mellow teaching and the computer screens of his equally mild-mannered teenaged students. I enjoyed watching and noting the manners and attitudes of respect shown by the teens as well. We did keep the remote handy so we could freeze the frames and copy the text.

The whole video is low-key and pretty easy to follow. My boys enjoyed watching their works in progress turn up as real webpages featuring their names and everything. The video showed how to create a Word Pad Document and then convert it into a web page. It also taught the kids how to create folders, save to various drives, how to find hidden code on popular web pages and more. Most of the clips were instruction on building the webpages. Both of my boys tried it. One of them was a little frustrated because his computer program was slightly different and we had to fiddle around to figure out how to convert the page to html and back to a WordPad document. Once we figured out how to do it, he jumped right back into designing. I sat with my laptop nearby and played around with the fonts and colors right along with my boys. Sometimes, we got so interested in making the letters scroll, changing the backgrounds and making up our own funny sayings, that we had to stop the movie to get back on track but each clip had enough review on it, that we were able to catch up quickly.

We learned about sandwiches--no, not those kind-my two boys became hungry at the thought of sandwiches, too--stop signs, the use of <> signs as well as how to make text scroll across the page in various directions. (See the title at the top? It's scrolling, aren't you proud of me? )Somehow the code made sense to us when it hadn’t before. I guess it was encouraging to see younger people, with less education than I, able to create and decorate a webpage. It gave me the courage to try it myself and not be intimidated by the computer words and code.

I didn’t get to watch all of the video while my laptop was available(multi-tasking took me away at times), but my boys watched the whole thing with interest.

I hope to spend more time working with the video. I have a lot more to learn from it.

What a great investment! It has a money back guarantee and for the special price of $19.99 (normally $40), a reticent or challenged learner can benefit from a low cost way to try out a potential career/hobby. It’s not for a programming savvy individual but it worked well for my kids and little old me. And who knows? It might be future job training for one of my boys. I can picture him now, making his business cards and brochures and selling people on hiring him to build their web pages.


As far as the quality of the video and acting, well, it was not super-engaging. The few jokes were somewhat flat but as a beginner instructional video, it was not bad. And the author/producer has a good motivation for selling his product. Not only does he want to help you learn to be more technologically skilled BUT also he donates a portion of the price toward charity. You might like to check out what he does and leave a comment. You can read up about that here. http://shinealight.ivillage.com/sbo-profile/?ProfileID=1168

Oh and for the other curious grown-ups: I looked up what HTML stands for—it’s an acronym for: Hyper Text Markup Language. With a name like that, no wonder everyone is shaking in their rhetorical boots. Folks who resemble that remark need to watch this video.

Do I recommend it? You bet. I did learn a lot and my kids enjoyed it as well. It was so easy compared to most other HTML programs and in the end, left me feeling like I actually might be able to play around more with designing web pages. I guess you could say, it takes the “timid” out of “intimidated”.

A TOS CREWMEMBER REVIEW OF THE DVD, “WEB DESIGN FOR KIDS (…AND CURIOUS GROWN-UPS!)” filmed by Brian Richardson

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Dr. Wordwielder is Weary

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Dr. Wordwielder here with your weekly word examination. I shan't be long. I'm a mite bit weary this evening as I've made several trips out in the rain and doing so depletes this old chap of any gumption he might have thought in his possession.

First, I purposed to go to the local library for their annual used book sale in a quest for a few, desired, old faithful books, some of which have been on my wish list for quite some time now, perhaps ten years. I've handled the modern copies but they do not compare to the quality striven for by every business worth it's salt in yesteryear. It was imperative that I not be late for this very important date with alibris, so I skipped breakfast and gobbled down a light nosh of pickled eggs followed by a slice of brown bread. I advanced to my car in hopes that the motorway would not be too cramped. Of course, you know that the weather in Florida is about as fickle as a mood ring and one must prepare for the best and worst to come. I tossed a brolly in the boot even though it was bright and warm from the golden sun. Walking away, I glanced in the rear view as I approached the driver's side. I noted a few bread crumbs in my mustache so I reached up to brush them away, only to accidentally nudge my bi-focals. They fell off my face but I quickly scooped the cap off my woolen head and caught them. To my great surprise, the neighborhood children who were waiting on the arrival of the school bus, must have believed that I was a magician performing a trick, as they giggled and clapped (after a gasp or two). I have to admit, it was a pretty brilliant chance for me to cover up what might have been a fateful accident. I turned and gave a slight bow and then climbed into the vehicle.

As I motored toward the library sale, little droplets of water began to drip onto my windscreen and form into little pools. I turned on my wipers and gave way to the yellow cab that seemed to be out of place in this area and didn't he know it? Perhaps he was from New York or something. He almost ran me off the road, but I was able to right myself and keep on track until I reached the slip road to the adorable village that's name includes the title for Mountain but is really a hill with a few slight curves. At any rate, the precipitation had weakened and I was not too disappointed as I had no way of reaching my protection that was lying by itself in the rear of the car.

The library was as I had hoped it would be, quiet as a museum at night (although I heard someone wrote a movie about strange happenings in one museum). The early bird catches the worm, you know. I stood at the door, awaiting the librarian who came a moment later with the keys. I had not arrived a minute too soon. As we entered the building, cars were motoring up into the lot like ants on honey at a picnic. I mustn't blame them. There were a grand amount of books available. I gazed on a copy of "The Royal Path of Life" by Thomas Haines and company. It was a giant volume containing pages of velum, black and white drawings and advice written in a grandfatherly tone, yielding wisdom as well as debating the issues of contemporary society. I longed to purchase it but pondered the thought of carrying the monstrosity along with me as I browsed the other tables.

The aroma of musty paper wafted o'er the room and to me it was the scent of heaven unleashed. I picked up a copy of John Greenleaf Whittier's poetry, a fine book with an embossed red rose on the front. It contained an autograph on the title page and was addressed to a colleague of his. I ran my fingers across the edges and marveled at how the grainy cover could suddenly feel so smooth over the center of it, as if ribbon with a rose underneath, had been woven in like fabric across the cover. I placed the anthology back down on the table and picked up a plain book that looked like it had been wrapped in a brown paper bag, only it felt more like burlap. It was a copy of Riverside Literature Series Numbers 13 and 14, the Song of Hiawatha, by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. Delighted, I opened the book and saw that it was a true find for only $10.00. I snatched it up quickly and proceeded to the cashier, checked out and left. It had always fascinated me to read stories of the Natives in early America and Longfellow was no slouch in the telling of it.

Since the hour is late and since Ms. BeckyJoie has requested that I weigh in on the matter of good literature, I shall forgo the lengthy examination and post but one or two questions. Prior to that, I shall share with you a portion of the book I was able to acquire. I do hope that you will grant a weary old man some forgiveness for an atypical post this eve. This is only an excerpt of the poem titled, "Hiawatha's Friends" in "The Song of Hiawatha". I am posting it in response to Ms. JoJo Tabares weblog article about friendship and what constitutes such. Don't you think that Longfellow does an excellent job of describing Hiawatha's feelings toward friends?

Two good friends had Hiawatha,
Singled out from all the others,
Bound to him in closest union,
And to whom he gave the right hand
Of his heart, in joy and sorrow;
Chibiabos, the musician,
And the very strong man, Kwasind.
Straight between them ran the pathway,
Never grew the grass upon it;
Singing birds, that utter falsehoods,
Story-tellers, mischief-makers,
Found no eager ear to listen,
Could not breed ill-will between them,
For they kept each other's counsel,
Spake with naked hearts together,
Pondering much and much contriving
How the tribes of men might prosper.
Most beloved by Hiawatha
Was the gentle Chibiabos,
He the best of all musicians,
He the sweetest of all singers.
Beautiful and childlike was he,
Brave as man is, soft as woman,
Pliant as a wand of willow,
Stately as a deer with antlers.
When he sang, the village listened;
All the warriors gathered round him,
All the women came to hear him;
Now he stirred their souls to passion,
Now he melted them to pity.
From the hollow reeds he fashioned
Flutes so musical and mellow,
That the brook, the Sebowisha,
Ceased to murmur in the woodland,
That the wood-birds ceased from singing,
And the squirrel, Adjidaumo,
Ceased his chatter in the oak-tree,
And the rabbit, the Wabasso,
Sat upright to look and listen.
Yes, the brook, the Sebowisha,
Pausing, said, "O Chibiabos,
Teach my waves to flow in music,
Softly as your words in singing!"
Yes, the bluebird, the Owaissa,
Envious, said, "O Chibiabos,
Teach me tones as wild and wayward,
Teach me songs as full of frenzy!"
Yes, the robin, the Opechee,
Joyous, said, "O Chibiabos,
Teach me tones as sweet and tender,
Teach me songs as full of gladness!"
And the whippoorwill, Wawonaissa,
Sobbing, said, "O Chibiabos,
Teach me tones as melancholy,
Teach me songs as full of sadness!"
All the many sounds of nature
Borrowed sweetness from his singing;
All the hearts of men were softened
By the pathos of his music;
For he sang of peace and freedom,
Sang of beauty, love, and longing;
Sang of death, and life undying
In the Islands of the Blessed,
In the kingdom of Ponemah,
In the land of the Hereafter.

The vivid language and grammar of this piece is inspiring in a literary and philosophical sense. I simply adore Longfellow's use of poetic devices. For example,
his use of similes and metaphors such as "pliant as a wand of willows", "stately as a deer with antlers" and "spoke with naked hearts together" show his astute knowledge of how to appeal to the interest and intellect of his readers. What eloquent words he uses that we might understand and feel what Hiawatha, the main character feels toward his friends. What magnificent usage of the colour and imagery that evoke in us a sense of our presence in the story. I noticed also that the gentleman used a subtle amount of alliteration. For instance, "teach me tones wild and wayward", "eager ear" and the like. He does employ a set rhythm which engraves the words and details upon the mind of the reader. Not many folks are skilled at the art of using multiple, hyphenated words so close together but Longfellow used them like they were pieces of a song-of course they are-the Song of Hiawatha. "Singing birds, that utter falsehoods, Story-tellers,mischief-makers, Found no eager ear to listen, Could not breed ill-will between them."

Although I am merely skimming the surface, the literary content of Longfellow's poetry is an example from which a good poet and writer can learn much about entertaining the reader and using quality grammatical tools. But I shall have to lecture more at another hour.

The hour is late and I'm rambling as I suppose stodgy old people do. I shan't have another cup of coffee as I need to arise early tomorrow for another round of lectures at the university. So I shall leave you with an abbreviated version of my weekly examination.

Don't forget to post your responses and return again in a day or so for the answers.

Two Questions this week.


1. Hectic or Helpful Homonyms. Which homonym is correct? Two weeks prior to today, I, Dr. William Wordwielder did visit the local book (sellers or cellars).

2. Ideal or Idiotic Idioms. If you make companionship with a fool, you might also be taken for one because as everybody knows, (a. You must never count your chickens before they hatch OR b. Birds of a feather flock together.)


By the way, I neglected to inform you about the results of my audition last Wednesday evening for the church worship ensemble. It appears that my style of vocal expression is not compatible with the music selections used by the choral director for the ensemble but the director was pleased with my audition so that he added an extra chair in the choir itself and placed me in the back to assist the bass and baritone sections as I possess a three octave range and there was no need for another tenor. Thank you all for your interest in my endeavor. I recently heard about another option where I might be able to sing with a collage of singers. For now, I shall retire and wish you all a good night's rest, though as I said it is late and you shall probably read my ramblings on the morrow. Good night. Don't forget to comment. Parting is such sweet, nay, bittersweet sorrow.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

What Makes Quality Writing?

Many of you are aware that I write curriculum and product reviews as a member of The Old Schoolhouse Magazine's Homeschool Review Crew. Well, a product came across my desk last week that I was very excited to receive for review. It is a writing program for children based on quality literature. In a few weeks, I will review it on my Leaders In Learning blog. Click here to favorite that blog: http://www.leadlearners.blogspot.com/.
I've been scouring the pages of this course and finding many things I like about it. One thing it does is to define good quality writing by a list of standards. I agreed with their choices but also thought it could be a bit subjective to make a list like that as various people might think certain qualities are more important in writing and literature.
This thought process led me to post a question on here for my fellow writers. I know you are all fellow readers of good books and magazines. So....
Which characteristics do you feel are important to quality writing? Which are less important? Do they need to be well written or is it acceptable to be a little loose on the grammar as long as the story is interesting? What type of literature is high quality and what is average?
Wondering minds want to know so please leave your answers on in the box AND if you know of someone else who would be interested in voicing their opinion on the matter, please send them here. I would love to know what you all think. I love to learn. Thank you.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Auditions Post/ Answers to Dr. Wordwielder's Quiz

Dr. Wordwielder here. I do declare that modern technology is oft times a curse. On occasion, I try my hand at typing on these newfangled machines with the Internet attached and discover myself entangled in it's web of treachery. This week I did this to your poor hostess' computer. Ms. BeckyJoie had mentioned to me how she often listens to classical music while penning her thoughts and I heard about a website that would play the music whilst I typed. But to my misfortune, it appeared to inject some sort of "virus" as I'm told into Ms. BeckyJoie's computer causing the letters in the words to reverse such as if it were written by a person diagnosed with dyslexia. It took her a few days to realize what I had done and she was very gracious about the whole ordeal. I do declare that her husband must have been scratching his head a bit over the matter. Our host and hostess sure were baffled. They hustled over to the local office supply establishment and purchased a can of air???? Then they proceeded to spray it all over the keyboard as if trying to blow away the virus. At least, that is how it appeared to me. But alas, the solution was yet to be found. Mr. Oakes ran a deep scan and found the culprit. Now, I shall finally be able to answer the exam questions for you. Here they are:


1. Hectic or Helpful Homonyms. THE CORRECT ANSWER WAS THE LETTER B. AND IT HAS NOTHING IN COMMON WITH INFESTATIONS THAT HOUSEHOLD PETS ACQUIRE, UNLESS YOU CONSIDER THAT THE MATERIALS BROUGHT TO SUCH A MARKET SEEM TO MULTIPLY LIKE FLEAS SCATTERED ACROSS THE GROUNDS. The magnificent model of feminine pulchritude made her way across the green to browse the tables at the ( a. flee, or b. flea) market.

2. Ideal or Idiotic Idioms. THE CORRECT ANSWER IS B. AGAIN. TO OVER-EGG THE PUDDING IS TO SPOIL SOMETHING BY USING TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING WHEREAS TO OVERPLAY ONE'S HAND DENOTES OVERESTIMATION OF ONE'S POSITION OR STRENGTH. When writing descriptive lines in poetry or prose, one must not ( a. overplay one's hand or b. over-egg the pudding). YES, IT WAS RATHER TRICKY, MY FRIENDS.

3. Wise or Wacky Words. THIS TIME THE ANSWER WAS THE LETTER A. The word is affable. Does it mean: a. easy to speak to and gracious OR b. the after effects of laughing.

4. Cute or Comical Coinage. Kiss gate. This term is used quite frequently in England where I lived as a young fellow in my preparatory school days. The Kiss Gate was designed to prevent animals from escaping or entering a location and it consisted of a half door that only one person at a time could pass through, usually, the gentleman would enter first and offer to help the ladies afterward. Often my chums would make their boast about preventing the young ladies from moseying through unless they had first offered a kiss. Of course, I never attempted this with the ladies as I ne'er wished to receive the brunt of their brolly upon my head but some chaps may have succeeded. IT COULD HAVE BEEN EITHER CUTE OR COMICAL. NOW IT IS YOUR TURN TO COIN A PHRASE. LEAVE A COMMENT OR POST A COINED WORD ON YOUR OWN WEBLOG. IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO COIN A WORD OR PHRASE, FEEL FREE TO SHARE THOSE YOU HAVE LEARNED FROM OTHERS.

5. Spelling Slips. Which spelling is correct for the following word: a. nucular OR b. nuclear ? THE ANSWER IS THE LETTER B.

6. Pun Fun. I had found my true soulmate. She and I were both wearing British shoes. WHAT PUNS HAVE YOU BECOME FOND OF HEARING? HAVE YOU USED ANY YOURSELF?
AS YOU MAY BE WONDERING, DUE TO THE TECHNICAL DIFFICULTY WITH WHICH THE HOSTESS' COMPUTER BECAME PLAGUED, I HAVE HAD TO MAKE AN EXTRA TRIP BETWEEN THE UNIVERSITY AND HER HOME. BUT I PROMISE TO RETURN LATER THIS WEEK TO POST ANOTHER EXAM. MEANWHILE, PLEASE TAKE CARE TO SHARPEN YOUR WORDWIELDING SKILLS BY READING YOUR FAVORITE DICTIONARY OR TAKING TIME TO COMPLETE THE WORD SEARCHES IN YOUR LOCAL NEWSPAPERS. UNTIL LATER, GOOD BYE FOR NOW.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Dr. Wordwielder Auditions

Good evening, fine ladies and gentlemen. It is my extreme pleasure to greet you with a story of a fine audition of which I was a participant. Having taken leading Shakespearean roles on stage on occasion as well as having been on tour in a speaking circuit, I only felt it fitting that I once again take to the platform when I heard the musical director of a local church calling for potential participants for the church worship team. I've never done such a thing before but being a proper gentleman desirous of aiding my fellow man, the idea had begun to take root in my heart.

Why, a distinguished professor such as myself, must surely lend assistance to a young chap in his attempts to lead a fledgling flock into green pastures of refined music. At the very least, I wished to influence the clarity of annunciation as I have been noticing the lack thereof in music of a popular persuasion on the Christian radio networks and churches across the country (this chap's choir being much improved over the general public, but one can always improve one's craft, mind you.) It has been my opinion that the quality of music and the quantity of musical training has been gradually degrading itself here over the years since I first arrived here from England. Musicians and vocalists in this day and age do not proceed through the necessary educational rigors that musicians once endured for the quality of their craft. At times, it seems that any old chump might produce a recording and succeed at entering a competition such as the scandalous show on American Televisions which might make an idol out of an ignoramus. But alas, I am over-ruled by the general populace who passes over a musical genius to award recording contracts to a novice. But then again, what do I know? I'm merely a purveyor of prose with an acute aspiration for excellence in all functions of speech, whether they be spoken, musical or written.


A friend of Ms. BeckyJoie's is airing a chat show tomorrow upon the exact topic and desires that you join her and her debonair listeners to discuss the importance of communicating through the language of music. I do believe that our hostess has placed an advert on the side of her blog page so that we might click on it to arrive at the chat show destiny.


But first, I must say that I hope the readers will keep an astute mind about such a matter since so much sensitivity surely surrounds this volatile subject. For example, my very presence at the afore-mentioned audition was greeted with a cold shoulder and a bit of bossiness by the younger set this evening. I suppose that the pronunciation of vowels and consonants in that particular genre of music is quite uncommon these days. But it was my desire to set a sterling standard for symbolic citation by the supervisor of the ensemble for coming contestants over the course of time.



The choral director smiled like a Cheshire cat after I obliged him with a masterful performance of a melismatic segment of Handel's Messiah that I used to deliver to the masses in my voice studies in college. He seemed pleased to make my acquaintance and I have to admit that I've not met a young chap of his caliber in at least a decade or two. I suppose that I shall be called upon to aid him in polishing up the vocals in his Sunday ensemble, but if not, I had a dashing time of it, being back on stage.



I did have one minor problem, though, as my old bones climbed up the stairs to the platform. My trousers were a bit too stiff from all the starch that I had by error, dropped into my laundry last week, when my bifocals had become fogged up by the steam of the rising water in the washing machine. I had a mite of difficulty bending at the knee and began to loose my balance somewhat. Fortunately, I reached for a nearby microphone stand and righted myself pretty quickly, though it did coincide with some squeals and squeaks coming from one of the speakers. The modern conveniences have their advantages but oft can be a smidgen cantankerous from time to time. I do believe, though, that we ironed out the matter significantly by the time I recovered the microphone to sound my resonant tones. When the audition ended, I discovered that I had, in my haste to arrive at the house of worship, forgotten to imbibe a spot of iced tea and to ingest the cold cucumber sandwich that I had prepared to eat along the way. So, I strolled out on the grounds to find a shady limb under which to place myself. After devouring the delightful dinner, I rested for a while, and then climbed into my Mini Cooper and proceeded here for our weekly lesson. Along the drive, I admired the brilliant finish of the paint job I recently had re-touched, reflecting specks of the British racing green across the cabriolet and glistening like sparks of glitter in the setting sun rays. I arrived here safely and tucked my automobile under cover for the remainder of the night as the Oakes have generously offered the use of their guest room this week because of my previous mishaps late at night in the Florida rain storms.




I am grateful once again for your faithfulness to attend my online classes and for Ms. BeckyJoie who so graciously offers her blog every week. I could not imagine trying to circumnavigate the world wide web in order to create a blog for myself. I once attempted the evil feat and became maddeningly overwhelmed. Thus, I shall leave the technological triumphs to another more adept while I shall continue to bring the excellence in accelerated English eloquence.


Speaking of the art of eloquence, I have been unable to shake the impression of the English Rose whose voice attracted my attention last week. I was transported, whether in reality or my thoughts, from my presence at the Barnes and Noble Book Sellers Establishment to the celestial realms where she seemed to naturally find her place in a blanket of brilliant light. The sound of her voice echoed through it like an opera singer at Carnegie Hall. Though I never had the pleasure of viewing her angelic countenance, I am quite certain that her radiance must be of no equal comparison. Might I have known her from another realm or from my place of origin? Only time will tell but I have not been able to erase her memory from my mind. But I shall try, for it is only once in a lifetime that one meets a lady with such enchanting elocution and it is unlikely that I shall be able to be graced by her presence again, save some miraculous intervention. So, I shan't indulge in the monotony of the retelling of the saga but thus, proceed to this week's agenda at Rather Be Writing.



For today's lesson, we shall answer the following questions. Feel free to leave your own comments and suggestions in the box below marked "comments".

1. Hectic or Helpful Homonyms. The magnificent model of feminine pulchritude made her way across the green to browse the tables at the ( a. flee, or b. flea) market. Choose one.

2. Ideal or Idiotic Idioms. When writing descriptive lines in poetry or prose, one must not ( a. overplay one's hand or b. over-egg the pudding). Choose one.

3. Wise or Wacky Words. The word is affable. Does it mean: a. easy to speak to and gracious OR b. the after effects of laughing.

4. Cute or Comical Coinage. Kiss gate. This term is used quite frequently in England where I lived as a young fellow in my preparatory school days. The Kiss Gate was designed to prevent animals from escaping or entering a location and it consisted of a half door that only one person at a time could pass through, usually, the gentleman would enter first and offer to help the ladies afterward. Often my chums would make their boast about preventing the young ladies from moseying through unless they had first offered a kiss. Of course, I never attempted this with the ladies as I ne'er wished to receive the brunt of their brolly upon my head but some chaps may have succeeded.

NOTE: I shall add two more categories for this week alone and they may appear again at random. This shall serve to keep the readers alert and searching for new words to leave in the comment box.

5. Spelling Slips. Which spelling is correct for the following word: a. nucular OR b. nuclear ?

6. Pun Fun. I had found my true soulmate. She and I were both wearing British shoes.
Now, my friends it is your turn. Try your hand at the examination. It is an open book test, so retrieve your dictionary and thesaurus and search away. Don't forget to leave your answers for the rest of us to view in the comments department. Also, leave us a link to follow you back to your weblog or post. In that way, we can find you more easily. I shall post the answer in the next couple of days.
Cherio, my chums!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Dr. Wordwielder's Mysterious Encounter

A Word from Dr. Wordwielder:



Greetings, my friends!
Please accept my deepest regrets for my lack of punctuality in arriving at Rather Be Writing. For some unknown reason, I've developed a bit of brain fog over the last ten hours.

You see, I had completed my lessons and extra-curricular reading activities at the university library over an hour earlier than usual and so I had purposed in my heart to make an excursion to my local Barnes and Noble Booksellers establishment. The motivation for doing so was to acquire for myself a copy of the magazine, Etymology Today, where I had published an article called, “Colloquialism, The Root of Linguistic Morphology.”


Prior to leaving the university, I had received a telephone call from Ms. BeckyJoie to inform me that she was having a bit of schedule overload; what, between her new work with the non-profit organization, her review-writing job and some family distress, she requested that I postpone my visit until this evening. I was happy to oblige as it had been nearly a month since my last visit to the shelves of the celestial book hall and bistro. So I retired forthwith to Barnes and Noble.

When I arrived at my destination, I was delighted to hear that the public address system was alternating between selections of my most favored musicians, the classical composer, Mozart and the Big Band legend, Glen Miller. I felt at home, once again, with the enticing scent of fresh ink and new paper, which had comforted me from my early childhood visits to the library and bookstores. I began skimming the assortment of reading fare that lined up on the shelves as I passed through to the news department. I noted the 2010 volumes of the Writer's Market Guide and Poet's Market were freshly set in rows and still wrapped in plastic. I latched on to a copy of each and tucked them into my satchel, continuing toward the magazine rack.

There it was-of crisp copy of Etymology Today. I surveyed the pages until I found my article, wanting to make sure that the editor left my precious manuscript intact. I noted that there were no errors. The information in the document is vital to the maintenance of the English language. I oft chance to hear the deterioration of our distinguished lingua mater when a youngster verbalizes that he likes to stand around and be cold with his friends. He ought at least to put the 'g' in "chilling". And once, in the hallways of the university, a group of young men were running through like herds of cattle when one of them barged into me.


“My bad,” he said.


I was waiting for him to finish the sentence. “My bad...mistake.” “My bad... aim” or something like that but he stopped--short--at the word “bad”.


Why! Just yesterday, I was meandering through the parking lot and a sports vehicle scurried in right behind me. A gaggle of girls came running to the driver's side door yelling, “Oh! Sweet!”


I looked to see if there was a box of chocolates in the hands of the fellow but for the life of me, I could only see a bag of books. Young people these days!

So I was pleased when the magazine editor accepted my query about writing an article on the dangers of using colloquialism in communication. I sent him a piece the next week after he replied to my letter. That reminds me, I need to address him with a note of extreme appreciation for his ability to publish my article. For it was no sooner said than done. (But I need to return to my explanation of last evening.)

The intense summer temperatures spawned my salivary glands to seek out satisfaction in the form of a refreshing libation. I promptly obeyed my inner urgings and approached the bistro where I took nary a minute to convey my directive to the clerk behind the counter. “Yes, Miss, I'm mighty fine, thank you. And I would like to order a triple iced caramel latte with a dash of fresh cream and hazelnut and a stick of cinnamon. Thank you. And how much will that be?”

The young woman announced the amount and while I awaited the delivery of my chilled potable, I paid the bill for it, for my books and the magazine. Then seated myself in a corner booth to attain some solitude . The drink was surely refreshing. The whipped cream was thicker than I had remembered it and I must have looked a fright while wiping it out of my mustache and off of my nose for a youngster passing by with his mother stopped to stare at me a moment. I didn't appreciate it much as I felt that children ought to be taught not to stare at their elders but I couldn't blame him for the way I must have appeared so I looked away and began to rummage through my satchel for a pen and my reading glasses.

I had been sitting there for somewhere about the period of ten minutes when I heard a voice that pierced through me as if it were a long, lost familiar connection from my birthplace in England. I could not quite place it but I listened, hoping to recall the exact tone of voice in order that I might make the acquaintance more sure in my mind.

As I couldn't recollect the sound, I raised my head to peer around behind me to where a group of ladies sat around a table, apparently discussing a book. One by one, I heard them critique a line or two and tell why the book meant so much to them. I thought to myself that this was quite the unusual gathering for women of this caliber as I had not seen a book club or a writer's association in this town in quite some time, unless of course, you would count the students in my after school study hall.

Then I heard the voice again. It was as lovely as a nightingale, sweet and sing-songy like that of none I had ever heard before. I startled slightly but then shook off the shivers that had risen up new goose bumps on my arms. Why was I feeling so out of the ordinary? Perhaps I had caught this chillin' bug with which the young men were so fond of claiming association. Whatever it was, I had to see who the voice emanated from like the music of a violin echoing through Carnegie Hall. I stole a furtive glance in the general direction of the table, but all I could see, sticking up above her book, was the brim of a purple velvet hat and a large, plum, silk ribbon which adorned it. I sighed and attempted to return my attention to my new market guides and for a few moments, I perused the pages when all of a sudden, I heard the voice again.

“Dahling, the coffee was simply a delectable treat and the ambrosial cheesecake was simply enchanting. Above all, I adored keeping company with you, Madeline. Charming, for certain, my dear.”

I turned and she was passing by my table. I tried to catch a glimpse but just as I gazed in her direction, her pocket book slipped from her shoulder and she scooted down in the opposite direction to retrieve it.
When she stood again, the other ladies had gathered around and they began to exit the store.

I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to alarm anyone, but I could have sworn by George that I had heard that voice once before. I didn't dare to follow her to the parking lot. I did not think it a wise nor ethical thing for a gentlemen of my stature to do, but I thought perhaps I could stand in the window and pretend to be looking at the Florida skies for signs of weather. Was she an angel from heaven or a long lost friend from my former country. I did not know and never could tell as she chatted from the midst of the women's circle all the way to her vehicle, which looked to be a rental but one could not tell. It was apparent that I would not be able to ascertain her identity but her voice has haunted me ever since. I think I heard them calling her something like Ms. Smith but I couldn't be quite certain. Anyway, I returned to my table and gathered up my belongings. I had to make sure that my lesson for Rather Be Writing was in order and ready to bring to you this evening.

Now, that I have gotten that off my chest, I shall turn my attention to the purpose for which I have arrived at Rather Be Writing. Here is this week's lesson:


1. Hectic or Helpful Homonyms. The breadbaker beat the (doe or dough) before inserting it into the pan and then the oven.


2.Ideal or Idiotic Idioms. The young lady who won the cherry pie eating contest was wearing (A. a Freudian slip or B. a cheshire cat grin).


3. Wise or Wacky Words. Magnanimus. Does it mean? A. a large magnetic object OR B. generous and noble.
4. Comical or Cute Coinages. Brain dead. Although this word is a medical term which means to be have no life signs in one's brain while on the brink of death, it is now commonly used also to describe a person who is not using their brain to think and reason. What coined phrases can you create or do you often hear used? Kindly send your answers to this weblog.
Thank you Ms. Oakes, for allowing me to come once again to your blog and post. I shall look forward to reading everyone's answers as they post them to their own weblogs and link back here with a comment letting us know where you have posted your guesses and a coined word. I shall deliver the correct answers to you a few days hence.

Friday, July 31, 2009

Writing Brochures and Business Cards, Part 1

Ok--this is out of the ordinary, but you ought to expect that coming from me. LOL. I know there are some technical writers out there or people in advertising who would love to share their tips on brochure writing.

Would anyone else be interested?

Whether or not we like it, writers need sales tools, too. If you are writing for your own business, for book publishers or for a business where you are employed, at some point, you are going to need business cards, brochures or at least a web page to advertise or represent your business.
What should you say or not say? How should you say it? Do you pay a professional advertiser to write it for you or create it yourself? How do you determine the best way to write it? Do finances play a part in your choice? Or do you purchase what you need, believing that this is the cost of advertising which you eventually will recover through the business you receive?

On your brochures, do you ask the usual questions as hooks? I.E. "Are you looking for...?" or "Are you tired of...?" Are they trite buzz words? Enquiring minds want to know.

Through the business endeavors I encounter, I am learning a variety of writing styles that I never thought I would need or want to try. I'm "loving" it!

I'm a life long learner of all things. Aren't you? Life never ceases to amaze me. I wouldn't pretend to but I desire to know it all. Maybe it's that strong New England spirit or the entrepreneur in me. I have to find answers to every question about everything I want to learn.

Why wonder when you can use the world wide web to find the information you need? Here are two articles about writing business handouts.
If you are really brave, then watch this educational video clip where the speaker (with a heavy northern accent, by the way) teaches us how to use MS Word to create a basic brochure. It takes a few minutes to watch and is perhaps not as modern and flashy as desirable, but it contains simple, step-by-step instruction for the average person to learn how--so stick with it until the end of the clip. You'll like it.



Most important of all, readers, I want to know what you think about the subject. What has worked for you? How do you feel about the topic? Are there any potential guest bloggers in the audience who would like to add their expertise on this subject?

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Dr. Wordwielder's Wordsmithing Woa's

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, I regret to inform you that my visit to Rather Be Writing last week was diverted due to circumstances beyond my control.
You see, last Wednesday evening, I was sitting in my customary location on the Davenport in the university library. I was reading through the B entries in my Oxford New English Dictionary when the lines in my bifocals appeared to blur and the words on the page began to fade and then after that I do not recall anything for a while.

All of a sudden, I was startled by a cacophonous CRASH. I arose from my seat to see what was the matter. Oh, wait, that's not me. (Well, I must have been reading too much of Clarke Moore's poetry to my classes that day.) Suffice it to say, my dear friends, that the sound with which I became enlivened, resembled that of a gun shot. I feared that one of the drama students had gotten carried away in the auditorium nearby. But upon closer examination, I discovered no students nor staff members remained in the wing where I had taken up temporary refuge. It puzzled me greatly how such a boisterous boom could come from a seemingly empty building. I wandered from hall to hall when ZAP!!! At that very moment, a white flash of light flooded the air outside the Science laboratory where I expected to find the source of the explosion which had startled me. My left hand stretched toward the counter for stability and I peered over the rim of my spectacles but saw nothing. In fact, I seemed to have lost my visual senses. After a momentary lapse, the discovery that I was enveloped in a pervasive absence of light gave me pause for consideration. I needed to find a way out of the laboratory and into the hallway where I could use my cane to tap along the surface of the wall and circumnavigate the facilities to the exit.

Of course, I remained calm but plotted my response in the event that I should run into the hoodlums who had caused such an offense in order to rob or vandalize the university. My suspicions were that it was a fraternity prank but one could never be certain. It might even be a group of terrorists. I deduced that, even in the shadows, I would have an advantage over the young whipper snappers. Having been employed for so many years of my career at EEIEA, I knew the campus like the back of my hand. There had been many a day where I roamed the hallways reading J. R. R. Tolkien or C.S. Lewis while circumventing the crowds of students who stood chatting in the hallway between classes. I could certainly find my way around better than anyone I knew.

I felt my way out of the room with my cane while clutching the classwork and dictionary in my right hand. I could always use the massive volume as a decoy should the need arise by casting it in the opposite direction of my escape path to lure my assailants away long enough to evade apprehension. I proceeded with caution but also stood erect in order to appear invincible in the event that the criminals had donned night vision equipment.

As I left the room, I was delighted to be greeted by battery-powered emergency lighting in the hallway, leaving shadows distinguishable enough to lower my cane. I advanced with ease toward the visitor's office where I would attempt to locate the telephone and contact the constabulary authorities. As I placed my armload on the chair just inside the doorway, I froze. There, standing in the window behind the desk ,hiding behind the draperies was one of the intruders. The window was open and a breeze flowed through or I might not have seen his shadow wavering back and forth. I crouched and tried to crawl around the edge of the desk so as not to alert him to my presence but years ago, I had injured my right meniscus in an ice storm when visiting an educational conference in Boston. I gasped but was able to stifle it, then proceeded to tip toe with my weapon in hand. As I approached, I raised my cane as high into the air as I could and applied the force of a belly club as I swung. My cane caught in the drapery and tangled up, knocking me off-kilter into the desk behind me where I apparently landed on the button for the intercom and heard my voice echo through the building. “Take thattttttt!” I heard as I struggled to untangle my cane. I pulled it back behind my head and then thrust it toward the window again hoping to strike him but just at that precise moment, the lights came on and blinded me. Reflections on my bifocals prevented my eyes from focusing but then my vision was restored enough to see my victim in full spectrum light. There stood a graduation gown with a pair of the administrator's Florsheims on the floor beneath. It was apparent that a graduating senior had just returned his gown to the office and the secretary had inadvertently left the window open and left it hanging there after closing the draperies.

I was never so undignified in my entire life and realized that I must be in need of some suspended somnolence. I was fortunate to be the only staff member in the building as the security personnel had already retired for the evening assuming that I would make my usual after hours exit and secure the building myself. For this, I was grateful. I stepped forward to seal the aperture and discovered the source of the power outage as a bolt of lightening darted in the distant horizon. The generator back-up timer had tripped after the electricity had been affected by a lightening strike somewhere on the campus. I glanced around and noticed that there was not a sign of combustion in the atmosphere at all so I exited the building and meandered to my vehicle. In all the chaos, I must have left my lesson for you on the desk in the visitor's office but I did not want to become a lightening rod in the lonely parking lot so I scurried into the driver's seat and attempted to drive away into the storm. I thought, perhaps that I might arrive on time but as I continued my journey toward your home, the clouds darkened and the floodgates of heaven prevailed to penetrate the road with horrific hail. I feared that being in Florida, I might be on the outskirts of a hurricane or tornado but had no choice but to continue as I could hardly see the boundaries of the road. Eventually, I arrived upon the edge of my driveway but as it was approaching Two o' clock in the morning,I presumed that you would already be in your bedstead and not appreciate a guest at that hour. I beg upon your mercy for forgiveness of my rude behavior to have not kept my word on traveling to your residence last Wednesday and I hope that your readers have used the week of my absence as an opportunity to study the incredible linguistic lecture which I had deposited here upon my last visit to Rather Be Writing.

This week's lesson shall consist of the following:

1. Hectic or Helpful Homonyms? Choose the correct homonym to place in this old song. “I may never ride in a ___________ but I'm in the Lord's army.” Is it: a. calvary OR b. cavalry.

2. Ideal or Idiotic Idioms? When the utility bill came, it made my___________ because it was so elevated. CHOOSE ONE: a. blood run cold OR b. blood boil.


3. Wise or Wacky Words? Sanguine. Does it mean: a. happy, optimistic OR b. an object containing sparkly sequins?


4. Comical or Cute Coinage? Evoktional may be defined as: to create or do something that will evoke a response from someone. The word also denotes a devotional quality to the response that is evoked. The first time I became aware of this word is when Ms. BeckyJoie's brother, Ray Thombs, Jr. used it to describe his common mode of operation in human relationships. Dear Readers, coined words are rather an addiction to me as a professor and philologist, so if you could kindly humor me a bit and send me your coinages this week via email or a post, it would be ever-fulfilling for me to peruse.


In fact, this week, please do not post your answers here on this weblog but instead, record them on a page elsewhere such as Facebook, Twitter or your personal weblog.
Then come to this page and leave the address or location where we may find your answer. I shall leave the quiz answers with your host to announce at a later time in the next day or so. Thank you so much for understanding my plight last week and I appreciated your consideration and forgiveness.

The time has arrived when I may need to vacate the residence of my hostess but I shall return again soon. I've been very busy lately and a bit scattered so if I do not appear on time, I please to beg your pardon. Nonetheless, whether or not I am present, I shall not neglect to deliver the lessons to Ms. BeckyJoie so that she may be able to publish them for all of her readers to study and memorize. For now, I bid you goodwill and good night. Until we meet again....
Post Script: Don't forget to answer the exam questions.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Rejection Rejection Letters

Rejection, rejection. It's a writer's worst enemy or is it? What can you do about rejection?
When I was an awkward teenager and the brunt of many children's sarcasm, my heart wore a sign that said "kick me for a reaction". Words of wisdom from my mother were, "Consider the source and forget it." If I could only have done that through my life, I might have done more good in the world. But these words to the yet unwise did not sink in until my adulthood after much pain and suffering.
While it's important to have your work critiqued, writers also need to view rejection through grace-colored glasses. What are the cardinal rules of criticism?
1. Consider the source. Is the source qualified to give counsel on the piece? How does this source's perspective affect his or her opinion?
2. If the source is qualified to critique and has a valid suggestion, open your ears and listen. Don't be stuck on your ideas and words so much that you elevate yourself as a diva or divo and relegate all others as inferior.
3. If your source is not qualified or has a world view that conflicts with yours, then take their criticism with a grain of salt. Apply any truth that you see (often when mud is flung, some will stick) and then bind your wounds and keep moving toward your goal. Don't wallow in the quagmire of self-pity. Redeem whatever you can and make it work. Otherwise move on to another idea.
4. Remember that God-ordained things have a destiny. Sometimes it is just not the season for the words you write or speak. When the time is right, if you are open to the possibilities and led by faith, the piece that was rejected will find it's way to the forefront. "Be not weary in well doing for in due season, you shall reap if you faint not." Galatians 6:9
5. Guard your attitude toward rejection. "You can please some of the people some of the time but you can't please all of the people all of the time." It is inevitable that rejection will come but we can't take it to heart too much. It will only defeat us. The other day after hearing about someone who applied for a car loan and received multiple rejections from banks, I decided to do reflect on what he did. He wrote rejection letters to those who rejected him. ) Caution. These letters ought never to be sent but to be shredded upon writing. They are done for the express purpose of catharsis only.
Here is what I would imagine a writer to put down on paper.
Dear Publisher,
You are only the 25th company to reject my submission in the last three months and I want you to know that I reject your rejection letter because published authors in the past have suffered hundreds of rejection letters before anyone with any sense had discovered that their words were gold. Surely, my manuscript is what you and every other editor wants to publish and you have somehow sent this letter in error.
Signed, My Circular File is Now a Boomerang. Thank you.
Or:
Dear Readers,
Perhaps you mistook me for my writing double, the hate mongerer, for surely if you listened to what I have posted, you will understand that my intent was to encourage and inspire and that I season my speech and writings with grace on purpose. Therefore, the rejection you are sending me in this complaint letter is to be placed under the "Complaint Department button", the trigger of a baited mouse trap, in Christian love of course.
Sincerely, Wounded Writer.
Of course, this is not really the attitude of a grace-filled Christian writer but there is an element of truth in my sarcasm. We must learn to look at rejection through the eyes of faith.
Here is the attitude Christians need in regards to both receiving and giving criticism whether it be it a rejection letter or personal rejection :
Be open and humble.
James 3:17, "But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy."
Be kind.
1 Peter 4:9 "Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing".
Be willing to learn.
Proverbs 1:5, "A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels..."
Seek discernment and discretion.
Proverbs 2:9-11, "Then shalt thou understand righteousness, and judgment, and equity; yea, every good path. When wisdom entereth into thine heart, and knowledge is pleasant unto thy soul; Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee."
Don't be afraid of mankind. Remember Who is pleased and Who is with you. Hebrews 13:6 "So we say with confidence, The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"
Don't give up. "Be steadfast, unmovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord for as much as you know that your labor is not in vain in the Lord..."
I can't leave the page without discussing Forgiveness. When you are offended, whether through the rejection of others or the perception that you've been wronged, you cannot hold grudges and be successful. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Yes, you need to forgive an editor or publisher who rejects you. In your rejection of their rejection, add a note of forgiveness-make a choice. You'll feel much better about it, too and your interaction with the next editor/publisher will not be so harried. Keep in mind that God's mercies are new every morning. Do you want to follow His example?
Last but not least, DO NOT MAIL THAT REJECTION REJECTION LETTER. Discuss it with God and then shred it or burn it. Wipe the slate clean and start fresh. Tomorrow is another day.