Welcome, Dr. William Wordwielder!

Today, we are blessed to have a guest author, Dr. William Wordwielder, an editor and multi-genre writer who also teaches university students excellence in articulation and publication.

Ever since I've met him when he appeared on a previous late night blog of mine, he has become like a grandfather figure to me even though he is known by his students as a bit of an eccentric etymologist. His reputation was established when his peers discovered that rather than to socialize with the staff of the university where he works, he prefers perusing Webster's Dictionary, Roget's Thesaurus and rhyming dictionaries. He is so enamored with writing that even his impending retirement can't keep him from picking up a pen-which he does when he thinks no one is looking--shhh-but most always I've seen him at a computer, pecking away at the keys with two fingers. I suspect he will always find time to pen prose, but for now, he has decided to visit Rather Be Writing. I will allow him to introduce himself and his work further.

Why, thank you, Ms. Oakes, I appreciate that you presented such a powerful prologue of my presence and purpose, My Dear. I shall be forever at your mercy. However, you've been gracious to allow me time for discourse here at Rather Be Writing so I shall waste no further time in introducing myself to your readers.

Although my authorship is already publicized abroad, I did not begin 'web-logging' until April of 2005, when I became aware of the necessity in order to stay abreast of the modern era of publishing. Of course, journals existed for eons before this, but we shan't bicker about it, shall we now? A writer must not lament departure from the pen and page, though it discomforts him to be displaced of a dear soul mate who hath tarried with him through childhood woes and joys. Of course, there is a great distinction between the manuscripts of yesteryear and the mode of cognitive transcription that trickles from our fingertips onto a board with keys, but that, my friends, is an immutable evil with which we must acquiesce in order to survive this brutal metamorphosis of the craft. But I digress. You have not come to console a codger such as this professor who has not a bone of contention to bear. No, you have arrived at this sacred site to acquire an apprenticeship to elocution. I shall now acquaint you with my notoriety which I maintain by keen study and perseverance.

Contracted in 1978 to be the Professor of Puns, Prose and Poetry at the Elite Educational Institute for English Acceleration (or EEIEA, pronounced "Ayuh"), my competence in composition has earned me exceptional accolades in associations of writers and English Professors. My work has been published in three additional languages: Greek, Latin and French. My Alma mater presented me with an honorary doctorate for many years of language instruction to my students at the Institute. I continue to be retained there until a suitable replacement shall be employed to discharge the duties which I have responsibly executed for the past 22 years.

Lest I lose sight of the time allotted, please allow me, ladies and gentlemen, to present the lesson for which my services have been procured.

Each week's educational exercises shall consist of the following:

1. Hectic or Helpful Homonyms?

2. Ideal or Idiotic Idioms?

3. Wise or Wacky Words?

4. Comical or Cute Coinage?

I shall type them in numerical order. Your assignment shall be to reply with either the correct response or an original creation of a word according to what the questions require. When you are prepared to answer, select the icon in the window that is labeled, "Comments" and insert your text. After the passage of time, I will deliver the answers to Ms. Becky Joie for her to post after your comments.

Here are the examination questions for the week:

1. Hectic or Helpful Homonym. Which homonym is it?

Gladly the cross ___bear. A. eyed OR B. I'd

2. Ideal or Idiotic Idiom? Which one will you choose?

When the author received his royalty check in the mail, he _________________.

A. was as happy as a clam in the mud OR B. judged a book by it's cover

3. Wise or Wacky Word? Balderdash. Does it mean: A. making a mad dash to recover a dropped hairpiece OR B. nonsense speech or writing?

4. Comical or Cute Coinage. Invent a new word and define it. Here is one that Ms. Becky Joie has utilized on her web logs. "Bloglinkwent". This word is used to describe a blog owner who has been delinquent in posting and thus has no current links to share with his or her readers.

Well, I have fulfilled my obligations for the evening. Your blog hostess has given me ample time to complete the task. I shall retire for the evening and await the call to alert me that it is time to post the answers to this examination. Thank you, Ms. Oakes for the opportunity.

You are quite welcome, sir. Thank you for joining us this evening.

Editorial. Late each Wednesday night, Dr. William Wordwielder will visit us here at Rather Be Writing. Come back again soon as his test answers are revealed. It is a tough challenge. I know. He ran me through the ringer before posting them on this evening's page. Oops, he even has me using idioms.